eh

eh You don't know me at all. You don't know the first thing about me. You don't know where I'm writing this from. You don't know what I look like. You have no power over me.

So today I was feeling pretty ready. I put a loaded gun in my mouth but before I could pull the trigger I just thought of the few people I didn’t say goodbye to first and I simply couldn’t do it without a goodbye.

I am a piece of meat. Chew me up and spit me out. Use me up and toss me aside like the garbage I am. It is my only purpose on this earth. I have no worth, and never will.

took this as a joke to send to my friend abbey and it ended up not looking half bad. I forgot to mention that this is not my room. My roommates side is the side that has the full size mirror. I’m not a nasty ass.

took this as a joke to send to my friend abbey and it ended up not looking half bad. I forgot to mention that this is not my room. My roommates side is the side that has the full size mirror. I’m not a nasty ass.

I took a picture as a joke but it ended up looking better than I expected and I still dunno if I wanna post it

awww the baby. that’s razzle and I when I was moving from Georgia to Washington and stopped at home in Arizona.

a face to the madness since I was stupid and put all my other pictures in a link??? those other ones are super old anyways

a face to the madness since I was stupid and put all my other pictures in a link??? those other ones are super old anyways

So I don’t really understand what’s wrong with me. On occasion I’ll have these memories of some of the best nights of my life surface. I shared these moments with someone I really loved. I don’t understand how these feelings just went away? I don’t understand why they just stopped. I really wish it wasn’t like this but i don’t know how to fix me? I don’t understand why my brain won’t let me be in a relationship without either self sabotaging it or just turning me off to the entire thing. I just don’t get how all my feelings could vanish.

I’m not okay.

My arm is swollen and this really hurts :(

My arm is swollen and this really hurts :(

I want to return to nature. I want to melt into the sand on a beach or become a cloud or a tree. I just want to die and return to nature. I want to go back to the beginning. It’s all I can think about. There’s no room for anything else. Maybe that’s why I feel this empty? I know it sounds silly but nature is just so beautiful and I want to be beautiful too and give back to what we’ve destroyed. I’m too young to be this sad. And I can’t do anything about it. I’ve backed myself into a corner. But maybe this was the way it was always meant to be?